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Most people could objectively look at their lives and see how frequently the problems they had were of their own making, their suffering self-inflicted. We absolutely love to make problems for ourselves, and we do it all the time. We worry needlessly, we choose immobility, we resist acceptance, we externalize our power, we surrender our ability to choose when really, it's up to us to decide how we react, when we change, what we entertain our minds with. It's yet another symptom of our own masochism to say that we don't have a choice in the matter.

Sometimes, the enemy is inside your head in the form negative self-talk. The way we talk to ourselves, while generally formed during childhood, can follow us through our lives and color each experience like a ray of sunshine or a dark cloud surrounding us and blocking our vision. Those whose self-talk tends to be negative may attribute malevolent intent to others when none exists, interpret potentially positive events as negative and missing important benefits, or create a self-fulfilling prophecy by believing that their stress level is more than they can handle. If you suspect that you habitually use negative self-talk in your daily life, it's not too late to learn positive self-talk. By keeping a journal and using other tools to become more aware of your inner voice, using positive affirmations and surrounding yourself with positive energy, you can turn things around for the better, and experience much less mental and emotional stress in your daily life.

Conflicts with others are generally a part of life, but how we handle them can actually strengthen relationships, or can cause loads of additional mental stress for all involved, and create bigger conflicts that take on a life of their own. Interestingly, many people who act aggressively aren't fully aware that they're doing harm in their relationships and aren't familiar with a better way of handling things. We create our own problems to address the things we know would otherwise become issues outside of our control. We make them in ways that allow us to heal, address, fix, cope, and acknowledge whatever we want to get to before some other heartbreaking, external circumstance does it for us.

We create our own problems in the scope of knowing we eventually have the solutions, so we can safely (albeit painfully) deal with them. So really, it's not a matter of not making issues for ourselves, but being aware enough to understand what they are… and that we're asking ourselves to heal them.