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Pop psychologists glibly suggest, "Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change." Until what is on the inside - that is, your mind - is corrected, the external world, that is, how you perceive and experience the world around you will be a mere reflection of it. In other words, if the world around you is to you an unfriendly, hateful, scary, and judgment-filled place, why is this so? Often we project onto the world, as well as onto other people, the afflictive, negative thoughts and emotions that we cannot admit. Or refuse to acknowledge.

When you change your thoughts, you will change your feelings as well, and you will also eliminate the triggers that set off those feelings. Both of these outcomes provide you with a greater level of peace in your mind. Observe your thoughts and recognize what is it that bothers you. When you catch yourself thinking something negative about yourself (calling yourself names, disrespecting yourself, or berating yourself), interrupt it. You can yell (in your mind), "Stop! No!" or, "Enough! I’m in control now." Then, whatever your negative thought was about yourself, replace it with an opposite or counter thought or an affirmation that begins with "I am." If you recognize that you have recurring self-critical thoughts, you can write out or pre-plan your counter thoughts or affirmation so you can be ready. Meditating daily helps the mind calm down and achieve an inner peace. The idea of emptying your mind of thought is terrifying to many people. This is the only way to get control of your thoughts.

And, if you wish to be happy, and who among us does not wish for this, you must learn to manage the mind. Otherwise, it will menace you like the constant dripping of a leaky faucet. As enumerated so eloquently by the spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle in A New Earth, "the problem most people have is not thinking; it is not knowing how to stop thinking".