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At some point in your life you will be criticised, perhaps in a professional way. Sometimes it will be difficult to accept – but that all depends on your reaction. You can either use criticism in a positive way to improve, or in a negative way that can lower your self-esteem and cause stress, anger or even aggression.

Stop Your First Reaction: If your first reaction is to lash back at the person giving the criticism, or to become defensive, take a minute before reacting at all. Take a deep breath, and give it a little thought. That cooling off time allows you to give it a little more thought beyond your initial reaction. It allows logic to step in, past the emotion. You don’t have anything against emotion, but when it’s a negative emotion, sometimes it can cause more harm than good. So let your emotions run their course, and then respond when you're calmer.

Turn a Negative Into a Positive: One of the keys to my success in anything I do is my ability to find positive things in things that most people see as a negative. Sickness forces me to stop my exercise program? That’s a welcome rest. Tired of my job? That’s a time to rediscover what’s important and to look for a better job. Supertyphoon ruined all my possessions? This allowed me to realize that my stuff wasn’t important, and to be thankful that my loved ones were still alive and safe. You can do the same thing with criticism: find the positive in it. Sure, it may be rude and mean, but in most criticism, you can find a nugget of gold: honest feedback and a suggestion for improvement.

Stop Viewing Mistakes as Failures: Your mistakes aren’t failures. Just because there are areas that need improvement, that does not mean that you aren’t successful or that you’re bad at your job. Viewing mistakes as failures is another reason you might act defensively in response to critical and constructive feedback. However, each misstep you take is a lesson. You can’t improve if you don’t know where you need improvement. No one goes into any job knowing all the details or knowing how to do everything correctly. Give yourself time and space to learn and grow. You don’t stop discovering new things just because you’re an adult.

Learn from the Criticism: After seeing criticism in a positive light, and thanking the critic, don’t just move on and go back to business as usual. Actually try to improve. That’s a difficult concept for some people, because they often think that they’re right no matter what. But no one is always right. You, in fact, may be wrong, and the critic may be right. So see if there’s something you can change to make yourself better. And then make that change. Actually strive to do better.

Stop Trying to Justify Yourself: Jumping to explain yourself makes you seem guilty, unwilling to listen, and stubborn. It’s off-putting and suggests that you don’t have the qualities of a valuable employee. Ask yourself why your first instinct is to justify listing your potential customer leads in the wrong format or failing to fill out a report properly. Are there any justifications for your mistake, or are you just allowing your pride to speak up instead of admitting that you aren’t perfect? Stop explaining away your mistakes and own up to them instead. You’ll learn more, and your employer will have more respect for you.